She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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