college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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