Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
