You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
