afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
