If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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