It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
