Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
