yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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