she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
