playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize