doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
