Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
