Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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