My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just want nice things and good sex
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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