if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
