You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
