I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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