'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
