That's when you crack a 10am beer
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
