OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
