____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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