He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
