D3 body, D1 cock
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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