we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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