dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
