maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
