CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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