i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
