Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
