everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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