Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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