There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
