I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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