we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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