Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
