Only a mothe r could love this liver
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
