Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
