Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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