My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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