I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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