There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I love how my cats smell like pot.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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