Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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