I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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