Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
