i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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