CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
