roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize