Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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