oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize