Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
