White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
