A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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