Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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