You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
