I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
