Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
