I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
