Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My life is pants optional.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
