we have officially lost it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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