I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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