you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
