About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
