its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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