Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
